Why I REALLY Fell Off the Wagon

Hey all. In my previous post (yesterday), I mentioned that I kind of “fell off the wagon” with how well I was doing with my money. The reason for it is hard for me to talk about, as it really put me in a depressed state. I am just starting to recover from it now, but I still have my hard days.

I received some very bad news a month and a half ago. Someone I was close to passed away. He committed suicide. I had only known him for a year, but in that year, we had grown close. I loved him very much. He had had a rough time throughout the year, which I tried so hard to help him through. He also had support from two loving family members, but in the end, none of us could help him. The depression from the mental illness just overtook him.

This hit me hard. I had only ever dealt with grandparents and a cat dying up until now, and they all died at old ages so it’s something you expect. Of course they were all very sad deaths, but it was different.

So, I went into a very depressed state. There were a whole range of emotions that I was feeling. It was overwhelming actually. I had a lot of support from family and friends but none of it felt like enough. I just couldn’t handle the way I was feeling. I did seek counselling but once I started looking into it, I suddenly had a shift in moods and began to feel better. It was really strange actually.

Anyway, one of the many emotions I was feeling was that, other than my amazing kids, I didn’t care about anything else. I didn’t want to go to work. I didn’t want to go anywhere, other than home. It was a hard mood to deal with, and even harder to admit on here, but it was the truth. So, I stopped caring about saving money. I didn’t go overboard with spending but I wasn’t careful either and spent money on certain things that I didn’t actually need.

I’m doing better now than I was. Time heals all wounds, right? So, I am now back on track and ready to get back into tackling this debt. I didn’t write this post as an excuse for my bad spending. I shouldn’t have gotten off track with it, period. But, it is amazing how a horrible event can affect your thinking on things.

So I guess the moral of the story here is, if you have a “hiccup” in your debt-free plan because of a bad day, or a bad event, etc., forgive yourself and try to get back on the right track as soon as you can. We are all human and we all have to deal with hard times sometimes. Until next time…